Things Android Does That Your iPhone Can’t

10 things Android does that iPhone can't. Our android can beat up your iPhone any day! And our Android is on the honor roll. And it can run faster than you too! It's no big deal. We're used to it. Maybe it's the extremely customizable platform that makes our Android so much better at sports.

Android vs iPhone


10 things Android does that your iPhone can’t!

#1 Don’t Mess with Droid

Our android can beat up your iPhone any day! And our Android is on the honor roll. And it can run faster than you too! It’s no big deal. We’re used to it. Maybe it’s the extremely customizable platform that makes our Android so much better at sports.

Maybe the ability to connect via usb cable that makes our Android’s dad way bigger than yours. Or, maybe it’s the simplicity of backing up files with a simple drag and drop interface, similar to an external hard drive, that makes the iPhone seem much too overpriced. Drag and drop, son!

#2 It’s Going Places (and it’s going the right way)

We sure do love our GPS. Directions from the sky? What’s not to love? Darting around town is so much more fun without the fear of getting lost. But for iPhone fanatics, driving your car into a lake has put the fear back in GPS (more like FearPS heyoo!) Thanks to Apple maps, iPhone users have been left high and dry with no idea how to get home. We’ll take Google’s directions. Thank you very much!

#3 It Has a Healthy Relationship with Its Battery

Drop your phone in the toilet? First of all, stop doing that. Second step: take it apart and dry it out. Oh, what’s that? You have an iPhone, you say? Well then according to our records, you are plain out of luck.

Android has the right idea when it comes to this feature. People need to be able to pop the battery out every now and then. It’s also a great idea to keep an extra (charged!) battery on hand in case you aren’t in a position to charge it, or if you don’t feel like being tethered to a wall.

#4 Widgets Like You Mean It

Customize! Customize! Customize! With an Android, there’s no need to stick yourself in grid icon prison. Download widgets! Put them all up on your home screen! Hey, you can even pretend to be a weatherman! Need the latest numbers from the Dow Jones? No, you don’t. Download that widget anyways. It’s your money, and you need it now!

Widgets are great for taking a quick, sneaky glance at an app’s insides (technical term) without actually having to open it. With the Android operating system, users can manually place widgets on their home screens and even resize them to suit their pretty little eye’s needs. Well done, Droid!

#5 The Screen Dream

Oooh, Retina display. It’s so beautiful. Yeah. It is. So what? The Galaxy S4 makes the Retina screen look like the hot girl’s less hot friend in a teen movie. Let’s take a look at the specs. While the iPhone 5 boasts about its non-standard 640×1136 pixel screen, the Galaxy S4 sits back and quietly laughs. It has 1920×1080 HD pixels. Aww, your iPhone has a crystal clear screen with 326 points per inch? Oh nothing, it’s cute. Ours has 441.

#6 Look into My Eyes

It’s not the Mona Lisa. And no, it’s not that creepy painting of an eagle in our living room that seems to look directly at us no matter where we’re sitting. No, this time, it’s the Galaxy S4 that’s staring us down; except now it’s actually useful. The newest member of the android mobile family is able to track the motion of the user’s eyes. So, whether you’re reading in bed or trying to scroll down a page without getting Cheetos grease all over your phone, Android’s got you covered.

#7 No Nonsense Streaming

“You want an iPhone? Come on, look at it! It’s white and expensive! You like music? Look at this. You got your Pandora, your Rhapsody, etc. Do we have a deal?” Whoa. Freeze. Have you been out talking to old iSlick? Have you?! Oh really? Did he tell you all about the great music apps you can get with an iPhone? Listen, those iPhone pushers are trouble. You wanna download music directly onto your phone? Stick with the Android.

Not only can you have access to the exact same apps as the iPhone at a lower cost; you can get yourself some widgets too. Ah? Did old iSlick tell you that? Hey, you be careful out there. If it weren’t for us you’d be out on the streets opening and closing apps like one of those iPhone addicts on the corner.Now go tell your mother you’re sorry. She’s been worried sick. Ahh…kids these days.

#8 Free to Roam

You say you don’t like safari? Not crazy about iTunes? Sick of your one size fits all email app? Whoa. Easy there, fella. We’re in Android country now. And far be it from us to infringe on your personal default-app-freedom.

These colors don’t run. Unfortunately, the iPhone isn’t as liberal (or as rough and tumble) as the Droid. If you’re dirt tired of your default web browser, well that’s just too bad! Quit your bellyaching, ‘cause we ain’t lettin’ you change nothin’. You get what you get and if you don’t like it you can get out (if you don’t have a contract)!

#9 Face Unlock Technology

Welcome to the world of tomorrow! Now it is possible to customize your phone’s (they have phones now?!) lock screen like never before without the hassle of jailbreaking your iPhone. Take for instance, the face unlock feature conveniently included in the newest Android phones.

Ready? Here we go. Hold your phone up. Not now! There’s a cop! Ugh. OK, now hold your phone up and let the magical Android face recognition technology determine whether it’s you or an alien invader sent from space to steal your phone, because you know how they are. Jerks! They have spaceships! Do they really need to steal our phones? Well, at least we have top shelf Android lock screen security. Good luck, iPhone users. Hope your mom doesn’t get probed (oooohhhh).

#10 The Android Robot

Remember when you were a kid and robots seemed like the ultimate Christmas gift? Ahh yea, for decades children have been dreaming of having their very own robot. Now, thanks to the Android, every child with rich or overprotective parents can! Look at how cute he is. He’s the new Microsoft Word paperclip. We’re going to hate him eventually, but for now, he’s an awesome perk. According to our inner child, this little guy makes it all worth it. Thanks, Android. We heart you.